THE STRANGEST/WEIRDEST/CRAZIEST COMMENTS MADE BY INDIVIDUALS AFTER TELLING THEM MY CHILD HAS AUTISM.

  1. “But, I thought you said he was SMART?!”
  2. He’ll grow out of that as he gets older.
  3. He looks like a human, though!
  4. Are u sure he’s not just shy?!
  5. “How do you do it?”
  6. You should really put him in a home.
  7. I don’t know if I want my kids around him, it might be contagious…
  8. “Oh he must only be a little bit autistic because someone knew someone with an autistic daughter and she used to take her clothes off”. … “There is nothing wrong with him”…
  9. “Working with animals cure autism”…
  10. “He’s just screaming because he wants his own way, He’s just crafty like that”
  11. After a meltdown in the shops one day everyone stood around staring… A woman came up to me and said that if she were the mother here she would have given her a severe hiding right then and there…I explained that she isn’t being naughty and that she’s having a meltdown because she’s autistic.. .The woman turned around with a surprised but also confused look on her face and said: “Oh, what art school are you sending her to..?”
  12. Just hold her tight and hug her.
  13. ‎”I work with autistics everyday and he’s not autistic”
  14. “If you were a better parent he wouldn’t act like he was raised by wolves”
  15. “You need to put your foot down and show him what’s what”
  16. “What did you do when you were pregnant?”
  17. “But he’s playing with everyone” My response, “no he is playing near them.”
  18. From my boy’s older 13yr old half-brother, “I wish I was like them.” Me: “What, why?” Him: “because you get to do what you want, when you want and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, like you can watch movies all day, and everyone does everything for you.”
  19. Stop cuddling him. He only acts that way because you let him.
  20. Your daughter is manipulative and has you wrapped around her finger.
  21. You poor thing….. he looks normal though.
  22. My EX in-laws: there ain’t nothing wrong with that boy that a switch can’t fix.
  23. My son’s father told a judge once I made my son Autistic so I could get money. The Judge nearly laughed while telling him nobody can be made Autistic it just happens to some people.
  24. I was asked if I had considered giving her up to a family who could take care of her better….. I guess they thought autism was something you could know about when you were pregnant or something.
  25. Make him eat what you fix and stop giving in to his whining.
  26. My grandmother had seen Rain Man and she was always trying to get my boy to tell her the winning numbers for the lottery. :-)
  27. “Oh so he’s autistic… so that means he’s a retard and will never go to a normal school”
  28. My ex-boss, after telling me that I couldn’t have time off to take my son to social skills therapy: “I completely understand what you’re going through! My son is dyslexic!”
  29. Do you really think you should have her out in public because people can be so mean??? My response: Oh you mean people like you?
  30. A school principal once said to me that my son was not autistic and that he behaved the way he did because he is an only child in a single parent household. When I calmly replied that I felt there was more going on, she repeated herself. So did I. And she repeated it two more times before she realized I was going to keep repeating my response as well. Oh the arrogance!
  31. Recently my boy introduced himself to a relief teacher at the start of a day and asked if he knew about autism. The relief teacher said, “Yes, and you don’t have it.” What a brilliant way to build a bond with a student.
  32. They ask me, so what’s his special gift? Depending on my mood I either explain he is not a savant or I tell them its eating paper.
  33. “I’m so sorry. I saw that on TV. Does he bang his head into walls?”
  34. ‎’If you didn’t go to the doctors complaining about him not talking they wouldn’t have told you that. That’s something doctors tell parents to get them off their case’
  35. ‘Well you better not have any more then.’
  36. ‘They should have told you while you were pregnant so you could have aborted.’
  37.  ‘Too bad because he’s so cute.’
  38. “Give him to me for a week. I guarantee that he won’t come back the same.”
  39.  My daughter does exactly what your girl does (kicking/flapping/meltdowns/not responding etc. so your girl is “normal”. It so happened that that particular day I was up to my neck so I simply retorted “If your girl acts like my girl, then she’s autistic too and you should take her to a doctor”. That shut her up for good.
  40. She needs to be around more kids her age..
  41. When I told my 9 year old neice she explained ”oooo I know how Jake became autistic…cause he accidentally drank from grandpa’s liquor once!!!” hahahahaha bless her lil heart! ♥
  42. I overheard someone say >>>>” I wonder what sin the mother committed to have God punish her like this with a child like that”…
  43. You are just a bad parent and want to live off the system.
  44. “Oh is that all” that’s nothing my nephew has that and it’s nothing.
  45. It’s because you don’t go to church…
  46. A couple of days ago a repairman was @ my house and of course asked me why my son was not in school. I told him he is homeschooled because of his autism and he replied ” Yeah, everyone has that now days’!
  47. School counselor: He makes eye contact and socializes well, knows his name, so no your child was overly diagnosed by his Drs.
  48. ”The devil appears in many forms.” I was so taken aback and speechless. It wasn’t until I walked away when it dawned on me that I shoulda knocked her lights out! Just saying’…
  49. If he’s autistic why is he learning so much?
  50. Really! She sure talks a lot.
  51. Awe, everyone is getting that. I hope he gets to feeling better.” {0_o}
  52. So is he really good at math?
  53. It’s because you let him watch too much TV when he was little.
  54. You should have her sterilized so she cannot reproduce another child like her. From a family member.
  55. ‎”Everyone has autism now. It’s the new ADD – just a trend.”
  56. Oh you poor thing I saw ‘Rainman.’ I know what you’re going to be going through!
  57. How did he get that disease?
  58. She’s never going to be a functioning member of society. “She needs to be put in a home”.
  59. “What caused it? The shots, I think so… Oh great I just gave my daughter her shots now she’s going to be “retarded”.
  60. “I never would have guessed, just thought she was bad”

This list was compiled from responses submitted on our Facebook page at Single Mothers who have Children with Autism 

14 Things To Remember If Your A New Parent Raising A Child With Autism.

Advice from ASD Parents :

1. It may sound cruel, but get over yourself! I was hysterical with my 3 day breakdown wondering how ‘I was going to cope’, ‘how do I handle this’ … Then I shook it off and started to find out what I needed to do for my son! Your child needs a strong informed parent! One who accepts their child, rolls with the punches and has a sense of humour! It’s not easy but you haven’t been given a death sentence either. Don’t read someone’s horror stories and apply them either. Your child is unique, and deserves his own path! There are some wonderful people you will meet along the way … And you will learn some people will simply no longer want to be part of your life … Their loss!

2. Follow your heart and your instincts, never just settle for someone else’s opinion. ‘Don’t compare your child to the “miracles” either’ (meaning people who have “cured” their autistic child)

3. When trying to understand why your child does the things they do via behaviors meltdowns stimming whatever …Actually put yourself in their position. Imagine what it would be like to be THEM.For example.. What would you do if you couldn’t talk and were frustrated because you thought no one was listening or cared at that moment?? You just might hit someone to get their attention!!

4.  Save all your documentation in a binder! Never forget no matter how hard it gets to remember the good things! To find a support group as soon as possible! And remember these simple words: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming swimming swimming swimming!” :)Thats my Mantra lol

5. Learn as much as you can about ASD…the more information you have the better you can understand your child. While it’s true that no two children are exactly the same with respects to abilities and disabilities, allow your child to be a child…know his or her limitations and don’t create such a rigorous schedule that your bouncing from appointments that you don’t make time for fun…lastly..make time for yourself. Taking care of yourself is critical to keeping your own sanity… Also…keep an open mind to proposed treatments. At the end of the day it’s your call…but you have to put some faith in the doctors and therapists you chose…if your child is struggling in school, request meetings and fight for the services your child needs and deserves…love your child with all of your heart and accept them for their differences … he or she is truly nothing short of a miracle. Don’t try and “fix” them instead figure out how they learn and embrace them. ASD doesn’t go away but you can find ways to make their lives easier. Stop comparing your child’s accomplishments to others.

6.  Give lots of love and be very patient. You both can teach one another and with Christ all things are possible, allow God to direct your steps, pray and keep faith…The best advice a mother could have…my son talks now, he’s learning, he’s so lovable and smart!!!

7.  Don’t think that the professionals must always know best, your instincts as a parent and the ones that know your child better than anyone else mean more than many things that a professional can tell you, what they may tell you to do now could be completely opposite to what they believe in 10 years time. You are the person living with Autism 24/7, you don’t clock off at a certain time and however you deal with something has to fit in with the whole family, not just the child with autism.

8. Slow down and listen to the child, know that it takes them longer to get their point across and you have to be willing to listen properly to understand them fully.

9. Don’t limit them. I was/still am thinking “he can’t do that, it will be too much for him” but he keeps surprising me. He just sees the world differently and has to find his own way to fit in. Don’t force the square peg into a round hole if you know what I mean.

10. When my oldest son was diagnosed he was barely 2 and i was a 23 year old mom of 2 year old girl/boy twins. I had no idea, it hit me like a truck. i was in shock for a couple of weeks. I was sad, mad, confused, etc. then i started reading and researching everything i could. it will always be overwhelming but it gets easier, autism is a part of your child but it does not define them. best piece of advice i got was from a therapist/friend, ‘pick your battles.’

11.  I tell everyone to get a good babysitter, ASAP. It’s not easy but you need to have a backup person and the last thing you want to have happen is to be in desperate need of a caregiver and discover that all of your family and friends are scared to watch your kid(s).

12. Love & patience! And don’t ever forget no matter what anyone thinks or says, if they can or can’t speak, they are still a child with hopes and dreams and deserve all the love and respect of a typical child.

13. When things get you down do what I do.. I always think that there are worse out there than my son and like the others said ASD is not a death sentence. I’m thankful every day that I’ve still got my son and had 4 yrs. with him so far with MANY more to come :)

14. Don’t forget after all the therapy and classes and working hard, they are still just kids and need kid time! And enjoy it with them.

This list was compiled from responses on our page at Single Mothers who have Children with Autism.

TOP TEN THINGS A GUY SHOULD KNOW BEFORE DATING AN AUTISM MOM.

  1. Be patient… My children and I are worth it.
  2. Be understanding… I may have to cancel at the last minute.
  3. Be thoughtful… If I did cancel, offer to come over for movie night and bring take out that is kid approved.
  4. Sometimes I have a short fuse… Remember what I deal with everyday.
  5. My children come first…. Deal with it.
  6. Somethings in my normal everyday life might be more than you can handle… if that’s the case say so from the beginning.
  7. Being a mom is a full-time job. Being the mom of a kid with special needs is like having two full-time jobs. Being a single mom is like having three.
  8. Never say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. We don’t have time for games.
  9. Be kind… That shouldn’t need an explanation.
  10. My house is always a mess.. It’s my reality.

These were submitted to our Facebook page: Single Mothers who have Children with Autism by Jennifer Hodgdon. Feel free to tell us what you’d add to the list.

What you the readers added:

  • Complete exhaustion will sometimes happen.
  • Must always be alert and be able to run fast after child, love a headbutt as much as a hug from child, tolerate high-pitched screams, don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep and always realize that kids WILL always come first.
  • Take time to educate yourself about Autism.
  • We are not an easy package deal, but so worth it!  Also, you might just learn about the truly important things in life that others take for granted. ♥

 

Meme Representing Perception vs Reality of Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism.

I’ve seen some really great ones but I thought I’d do one especially for Single Mothers who have Children with Autism. :)

 

 

You might be a SINGLE parent of a child with autism if…

  1. Your dating life becomes non-existent.
  2. Your life is in constant chaos and you fall into bed so exhausted every night that you don’t have time to feel lonely.
  3. You don’t have time to be sick, although you feel like crap, because there is no one else to step in.
  4. You actually take potential boyfriends’ voice and the volume of their voice into consideration during the early pre-dating stages.
  5. You have to cancel dates at the last minute either because of child care issues or your child is sick..
  6. The person you’re with doesn’t know how to handle having a child around them with autism and mistreats them, so you decide it’s best to be single than unhappy.
  7. You find yourself telling the person you’re dating…”if you can’t accept him for who he is then you can’t accept me. He IS a part of me.” And you watch as they ride off into the sunset alone ..and you secretly pray he falls off that high horse of his square on the head.
  8. If your idea of a great Friday night is one where your child goes to bed and no one gets yelled at or bruised in anyway…..
  9. You go shopping and look like you survived a natural disaster like a tornado or hurricane.
  10. When the only dancing you do is on the Wii with your ASD child who beats you every time!
  11. When after everyone goes to bed and the house is silent you suddenly realize you are lonely and bored and feel just a little bit trapped in the routine of sitting by yourself night after night…
  12. If the highlight of your day is no meltdowns, for the kids or you…
  13. You feel like the luckiest woman in the world……because you got a shower that day and wasn’t interrupted 150 times because somebody’s fighting or doing something the other doesn’t like.
  14.  You’ve given up the idea of dating or having a courtship at all, because you don’t want to have to worry about whether or not your child is getting enough of your time or whether or not your child will even accept someone else.
  15. You have cried more than you ever thought was humanly possible, when no one was looking.
  16. You have to wait for your child to be asleep in order to take a shower.
  17. You can’t recall the last time you shaved your legs or got a haircut.
  18. You’ve used your child’s ASD to “filter” potential dates.
  19. When you start conversations with a new guy with, “do you have patience,” or “have you ever heard of autism?”
  20. You don’t know what it’s like to go out anymore and you look forward to the time your child falls asleep before you crash to have a little quiet time.
  21.  You’ve truly come to understand the meaning of 24/7.
  22. You’re tired always in all ways.
  23. You physically look like the grandparent and not the parent.
  24. You can’t find anyone good enough to be part of your children’s lives, because they deserve so much.
  25. If none of those hotties like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Denzel,..etc…  turn you on anymore and even if Ryan Gosling walked through your front door naked you would probably get sick to your stomach because you would rather meet someone who wanted to be a friend first, accepted and understood your child’s autism, and did not mind a messy house. Then you would probably jump on it- the relationship that is, not the man!!! :)

This list was compiled from comments made on our Facebook page at: Single Mothers who have Children with Autism.

REASONS YOU SHOULD THINK TWICE BEFORE MESSING WITH AN AUTISM MOM.

  1. Some of us have given up on social skills and don’t care what we say or do.
  2. We’re not afraid to have a serious “meltdown” of our own.
  3. We are tired and all the patience we have are for our kids.
  4. We have a far shorter fuse for nonsense as a result of our responsibilities but a FAR thicker skin….
  5. We can get you in a hold/lockdown position in less than 3.5 secs.
  6. We can shoot you a look that would make a linebacker tremble in his boots!
  7. Chances are it’s been awhile since we’ve had a full night of sleep and that will give us a reason to plead insanity!
  8. Our tolerance and patience is for our children who didn’t choose to have special needs, not for someone who CHOOSES to behave inappropriately and is ABLE to control their actions.
  9. We’re probably already on edge and it would be stupid to push us over.
  10. We are sleep deprived and already defensive, and we spend all of our patience on our children, doctors, therapists, social workers and teachers, why would we waste an ounce of it on a total stranger?
  11. We’ve had to fight from the moment of our child’s birth so by the time you piss us off we’re seasoned battlers who could win a war.
  12. We devote our lives to our children and don’t need more stress and people who don’t understand our life.
  13. Wherever there is a cub, there is a mama bear….We’re always watching.

This list was compiled from responses shared on our Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Single-Mothers-who-have-Children-with-Autism/258728120832823?ref=tn_tnmn

The Simplest and Most Ridiculous Things my ASD Child Ever Had a Meltdown Over was…

  1. Because we were out of string cheese.
  2. Somebody commented on how cute his boots looked on him. :)
  3. Because I put 7 marshmellows instead of 6 in his hot chocolate drink.
  4. He had 3 twizzlers and not 5. He has a thing about everything being 5.
  5. Because he missed the first minute of his daily Rosary on TV.
  6. Because school was closed.
  7.  His straw was bent so he screamed and banged his head for twenty minutes.
  8. Because the items in the store had been moved around and the displays. changed.
  9. Because her clothes had seams on them.
  10. Because we walked or drove another way.
  11. I couldn’t find his favorite pair of pajama bottoms.
  12. Because the school bus was late in picking him up.
  13. Because his favourite toy’s battery went dead.
  14. Moving one of his lined up toys by an inch.
  15. Switching the TV channel for a brief moment.
  16.  A stranger said hello to him!! He screams when people say hello to him!
  17. I put the boxes of pasta on the shelf wrong
  18. Because his brother won’t make Mario jump off the cliff when he’s playing video games.
  19. The wrong weather in the wrong season, one of “his” rules being broken.
  20. Not filling his cup to a certain line.
  21. Wanting to do yoga at 6 in the morning.
  22. When I cut his waffles into too many pieces.
  23. Me passing a car on the highway.
  24. Because I won’t let him take his dinosaur pajamas out of the dirty laundry and wear them to school.
  25. Had a major meltdown in kindergarden when the teacher gave her green blocks for a math projects….she HATED green – and proceeded to throw the blocks at the teacher…twice.
  26. GLITTER – if she ever gets glitter on her skin/hands/hair…you would think it was acid melting her skin.  Very bad scene at Disney when the fairy god mother showered her with “pixie dust” (i.e. glitter).  screaming and scrubbing for 45 minutes in the park…that was fun.
  27. We cannot forget when my son was in tears when my daughter and his friend “fired” him from their imaginary resturant.An old balloon that had been grounded for days finally completely ran out of air. It wasn’t even his balloon to begin with.
  28. He and his brother, both with Aspergers and one year apart, were fighting with invisible swords and his brother “STOLE MY SWORD!!!” Again, these were invisible swords.

Feel free to visit our faceboook page at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Single-Mothers-who-have-Children-with-Autism/258728120832823?ref=tn_tnmn

My ASD Child’s Most Annoying Habits… (You know the one that really drives me up the wall.)

  1. Repeating something until you say what they want to hear lol.
  2. Constant humming … sometimes I can tune it out but theres other times it absolutely drives me insane…. worse than nails down a chalkboard.
  3. Licking the walls, snowbanks, and other related things.
  4. The extremely high pitched screaming out of nowhere just for pure entertainment in public lmao well maybe I kinda find that amusing.
  5. Repeating the same phrase/comment/sentence over and over and over again.
  6. Chewing everything, including every sippy cup I purchase.
  7. Taking batteries out of EVERYTHING he can get a hold of.
  8. Kicking when I’m driving because we have to go a different route trying to divert traffic.
  9. Taking off his clothes!! He’s pretty good about keeping them on at school but once he’s comfortable in a place he goes to often (Nana’s house, other relative’s and friends houses) he just feels free to run around without any clothes!!
  10. Tearing every electronic apart and not putting them back together.
  11. Watching dvds over and over until I can recite them.
  12. Barking like a dog in public out of nowhere.
  13. Humming the entire time he eats a meal.
  14.  When she’s in jabber mode and just talks none stop.
  15. The finger poo painting.
  16.  Having to be literally nose to nose with anyone to talk.
  17. Moving his room around… sometimes twice a day….
  18. Stomping up and down the stairs every time he uses them, as hard as he can.
  19. Having to have his hands down his pants constantly.
  20. Spitting… drives me crazy!
  21. Biting his finger and toenails off and chewing the erasers and even the metal part that holds the erasers on the pencil off every pencil in his back pack and at school.
  22. Changing his underwear several times throughout the day…just because.
  23. His obsession with taking baths.
  24. His high pitch screaming.
  25. Putting EVERYTHING in his mouth!!!!!!!!! doesn’t matter what it is, it always goes in the mouth……sticks, mud, teddies etc.
  26. When you just opened your eyes and haven’t even had a chance to breathe yet and immediately you start hearing about the latest DVD he is obsessed with.

Most Expensive Things Our ASD Kids Have Damaged or Completely Destroyed.

  1. My spare time.
  2. A remote control by peeing on it.
  3. Our entire house.
  4. Every vacuum I ever had. We have to get a new one every two months.
  5. A brand new Sony PSP by throwing it in the dumpster.
  6. My toilet, he flushed batman down it to watch him swim and clogged it to the point that not even the plumber could get it out. Had to remove the toilet, fish for it in the drain and install a new one, since the old one got broken in the process.
  7. Paint job on both sides of the truck by writing I love you in a billion scribbles with a rock.. ;) one of those you can’t be mad about because it’s a sweet thought.
  8. At the age of 5 he threw a 19 inch tv across the room.
  9. My career, but I dont really miss it.
  10. Some how he manage to put pennies in his TV with built in VCR, plus pennies in my home stero systems plus a fork.
  11. A girlfriend or two.
  12. My confidence in my parenting skills.
  13. My daughters WII.
  14. My laptop over his brother’s head.
  15. Several windows and cabinet doors.
  16. Several prescription eyeglasses.
  17. Me. I’m not broken, I am constantly scraped/battered/bruised. All the battle wounds are definitely causing me to depreciate in value. >:-(
  18. Dropped my phone in a glass of juice.
  19. Two of my teeth, with his head when he was 3.
  20. Does my heart count? ;)
  21. The control panel in the washing machine is probably the biggest, he likes to make it beep so kept restarting washes halfway through!
  22. Right now I have a fresh black eye. Have had several from my 4 yr. old son. He bites/beats/kicks my body, but it is not broken, yet.
  23. Jewelry because she loves sparkling things.
  24. The strength and character of the opposite sex (apologies to any men who actually have strength and character).
  25. Pulled built in dishwasher out of the counter, took chunks of counter with it.
  26. A toilet at school by rocking back and forth on the tank.
  27. A cell phone by crushing it with her teeth.
  28. All the shades/blinds in the house, get to replace them all the time.
  29. Bit my engagement ring so bad it looked like a number 8.
  30. Tore a picture of my late Dad.
  31. Clothes by chewing on them.
  32. Pulled the bridge off my beloved violin and posted it through the violins f hole :- it was fixed with patience, nimble fingers and tweezers!
  33. My laptop for university with all my assignments on it! They couldnt be retreived..laptop was smashed!
  34. My daughter destroyed a hospital room once after the gave her an oral sedative (I warned them and so did her doctor). Made the 24 hour visit into 3 days and they had to get a new EEG machine.
  35. My son broke a school window twice. Got a bill the second time and was told I’d get one every time he broke one.
  36. Dismantled a whole computer.

Visit our FB page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Single-Mothers-who-have-Children-with-Autism/258728120832823?ref=tn_tnmn

Popular Phrases You Might Hear In An Autism Household

  1. Mom he’s naked again!
  2. Mom needs a time out….again.
  3. Good Job!
  4. Oh no, there is poop on the blinds/walls/carpet.
  5. Where are your clothes?
  6. Quit hitting the dog.
  7. Get back in bed.
  8. Dont lick that.
  9. Use your words.
  10. Stop!!!… behave… good boy.
  11. Stop spitting.
  12. ‎”Mom, Braeden’s microwaving his Legos AGAIN!”
  13. You can’t stand on the iPad!!
  14. Please stop playing with your poo.
  15. Put your socks back on.
  16. Honey, it’s your turn to get the toys out of the toilet.
  17. I love you.
  18. No hands in your pants.
  19. Please….just taste it. You gotta eat something.
  20. Where is his blankie?
  21. Im sorry… your only wish is to see an animal that’s extinct. I can’t bring it back.
  22. Stop singing that song over & over & over & over….
  23. ‎”Let’s play something besides CHRISTMAS music, ok honey? It’s July…”
  24. What do you have in your mouth?
  25. Quit eating the dogs food.
  26. You’re awesome.
  27. Please leave the cat alone.
  28. GET DOWN!
  29. Get your hand out of the back of your diaper.
  30. Stop throwing things.
  31. Get that out your mouth.
  32. Stop flushing things down the toilet.
  33. Stop eating the soap.
  34. Put your underwear back on.
  35. Stop running.
  36. Calm down.
  37. Stop screaming.
  38. Stop hitting your brother/sister/mom/dad.
  39. Dont bite the dog.
  40. Relax buddy.
  41. Stop licking me.
  42. Dont put that in your nose… Just because it fits doesn’t mean it belongs there.
  43. Go potty. You haven’t gone for days.
  44. Dont pee on the porch or in the bathtub on your brother.
  45. Stop playing with the light switches.
  46. High Five!
  47. Look at me.
  48. Stop eating your boogers.
  49. Turn of the tap and stop playing in the water.
  50. Stop eating the sand.
  51. Take off your shirt before going in the pool.
  52. Honey please stop repeating.
  53. Remember to flush the toilet.

This list was compiled from comments by our members on our Facebook page at Single Mothers who have Children with Autism.

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