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You might be a SINGLE parent of a child with autism if…

  1. Your dating life becomes non-existent.
  2. Your life is in constant chaos and you fall into bed so exhausted every night that you don’t have time to feel lonely.
  3. You don’t have time to be sick, although you feel like crap, because there is no one else to step in.
  4. You actually take potential boyfriends’ voice and the volume of their voice into consideration during the early pre-dating stages.
  5. You have to cancel dates at the last minute either because of child care issues or your child is sick..
  6. The person you’re with doesn’t know how to handle having a child around them with autism and mistreats them, so you decide it’s best to be single than unhappy.
  7. You find yourself telling the person you’re dating…”if you can’t accept him for who he is then you can’t accept me. He IS a part of me.” And you watch as they ride off into the sunset alone ..and you secretly pray he falls off that high horse of his square on the head.
  8. If your idea of a great Friday night is one where your child goes to bed and no one gets yelled at or bruised in anyway…..
  9. You go shopping and look like you survived a natural disaster like a tornado or hurricane.
  10. When the only dancing you do is on the Wii with your ASD child who beats you every time!
  11. When after everyone goes to bed and the house is silent you suddenly realize you are lonely and bored and feel just a little bit trapped in the routine of sitting by yourself night after night…
  12. If the highlight of your day is no meltdowns, for the kids or you…
  13. You feel like the luckiest woman in the world……because you got a shower that day and wasn’t interrupted 150 times because somebody’s fighting or doing something the other doesn’t like.
  14.  You’ve given up the idea of dating or having a courtship at all, because you don’t want to have to worry about whether or not your child is getting enough of your time or whether or not your child will even accept someone else.
  15. You have cried more than you ever thought was humanly possible, when no one was looking.
  16. You have to wait for your child to be asleep in order to take a shower.
  17. You can’t recall the last time you shaved your legs or got a haircut.
  18. You’ve used your child’s ASD to “filter” potential dates.
  19. When you start conversations with a new guy with, “do you have patience,” or “have you ever heard of autism?”
  20. You don’t know what it’s like to go out anymore and you look forward to the time your child falls asleep before you crash to have a little quiet time.
  21.  You’ve truly come to understand the meaning of 24/7.
  22. You’re tired always in all ways.
  23. You physically look like the grandparent and not the parent.
  24. You can’t find anyone good enough to be part of your children’s lives, because they deserve so much.
  25. If none of those hotties like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Denzel,..etc…  turn you on anymore and even if Ryan Gosling walked through your front door naked you would probably get sick to your stomach because you would rather meet someone who wanted to be a friend first, accepted and understood your child’s autism, and did not mind a messy house. Then you would probably jump on it- the relationship that is, not the man!!! :)

This list was compiled from comments made on our Facebook page at: Single Mothers who have Children with Autism.

9 Comments

  1. Muge

    it is a great list.. made me laugh and cry in same time..

  2. KH

    Single by choice as I’ve seen too many times, men come in and the result is not good. I don’t have time for that. My ASD son is #1. Men can’t seen to accept that and think I’m coddling. F off. I don’t need a man, or anything a man brings. I might sound bitter, but better safe than sorry.

    • InkDragon

      completely agree. single for about 4? years now. can’t remember for sure lol kids come first. once he’s at a good place with himself, then maybe I’ll consider dating again :)

  3. Interestingly enough, I felt a lot of these things when I was married, which is why I’m now a SINGLE parent!!

  4. OMG If I didn’t know better I would have thought I wrote this!!
    SO TRUE

  5. Krista

    The games that are played and guys that don’t “get it” nor want to take the time to, are exactly why #1, 2 and #20 are my life. Many apply to me but those describe mine perfectly.

  6. I too felt most of this when I was with my son’s father.. I did all the work, all the appointments all the docs and so I figured i was better off alone so I could feel empowered and not abused!!.. God bless all single parents of special needs children :)

  7. I can totally relate to not having the time to be sick, or to get a haircut, but I really enjoyed being single and getting to parent exactly how I felt I should w/o anyone questioning my choices. When I was ready, dating was no big deal b/c I had set my priorities — me first — b/c if Mommy’s happy, everyone’s happy:)

  8. Em

    Haha! I secretly fantasize about my former boyfriend, who dumped me because he “couldn’t accept” my sons, getting his new wife pregnant with autistic triplets.

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