1. Be patient… My children and I are worth it.
  2. Be understanding… I may have to cancel at the last minute.
  3. Be thoughtful… If I did cancel, offer to come over for movie night and bring take out that is kid approved.
  4. Sometimes I have a short fuse… Remember what I deal with everyday.
  5. My children come first…. Deal with it.
  6. Somethings in my normal everyday life might be more than you can handle… if that’s the case say so from the beginning.
  7. Being a mom is a full-time job. Being the mom of a kid with special needs is like having two full-time jobs. Being a single mom is like having three.
  8. Never say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. We don’t have time for games.
  9. Be kind… That shouldn’t need an explanation.
  10. My house is always a mess.. It’s my reality.

These were submitted to our Facebook page: Single Mothers who have Children with Autism by Jennifer Hodgdon. Feel free to tell us what you’d add to the list.

What you the readers added:

  • Complete exhaustion will sometimes happen.
  • Must always be alert and be able to run fast after child, love a headbutt as much as a hug from child, tolerate high-pitched screams, don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep and always realize that kids WILL always come first.
  • Take time to educate yourself about Autism.
  • We are not an easy package deal, but so worth it!  Also, you might just learn about the truly important things in life that others take for granted. ♥



  1. I can relate to all of these but the last one… I am a compulsive cleaner. I hate a mess.

  2. violet

    i am a single mum with 3 children on autism scale so that means i have equivalent of 9 jobs?? lol feels like it some days!! but wouldnt change a thing x

  3. Marisol Rivera

    When dating an Autism mom the guy must love and accept respect her and child involved.

  4. Marisol Rivera

    Unfortunately I dated and reunited with my ex boyfriend but did not accept me and my son thougjht it wasnt worth it

  5. Belinda

    I am to afraid to even start to date and me and my childs father have been a part for a year and a half now I am not even sure how to date any more or if its even worth trying to find someone who will accept all that comes with me and my child if there really is n e one out there who will

  6. Stefanie

    I just stumbled upon your blog from the Autism Speaks FB page. I have to say that I am truly impressed! I have been looking for something/someone who can understand. I don’t really have a support system where I live yet (I just moved). Well, I can honestly say that I have never truly had a support system. My middle child is HFA with OCD. He just turned 10. I just wanted to give you great kudos for your blog and for illuminating the trials and tribulations we go through as single mom’s of autistic children and children with special needs. I am truly thankful to have found your blog. 🙂

  7. Karlene Kerr

    While my child does not have Autism, my daughter does have special needs and medical issues. Everything you’ve stated holds true for us as well. I’m a single parent of two children and it feels as though I’m holding down 11 jobs all at the same time! 🙂 I work as a school nurse in a special education school and the primary diagnosis is Autism, I bow to parents of Autistic children. It is a difficult job they have.

  8. Just because my special needs child has turned 18, does not mean he/she no longer requires love and understanding of his/her specialness!

  9. Momma Byrd

    How about not using the kids as an excuse for not coming around anymore, because you don’t want to interrupt the routine! Oh and how about this one ” there’s just no room for me in your lives” total bull!

  10. Jhelisa

    Do not assume you know more about autism than I do. Don’t give me advice on how I should handle my child. Realize there is no choice.

  11. Elysia

    Wow! How perfect! And the last two replies also apply directly to my life currently. Turns out dating in my situation really isn’t working out. Just doesn’t even seem worth it if he can’t completely accept us as the perfect package that we are!!!

  12. Rachel Stone

    So glad I found you guys. I have a 13 year old with Aspergers. My boyfriend said this list should be printed on an application for anyone wanting to date a single mom with autristic kids. We both really love this site.

  13. Em

    Everyone hang in there! My boyfriend adores my sons! Took a long time but found someone who loved me enough to spend the time it takes to get to know them. He now talks in their language, laughs at the zany things they do, and helps tuck them in at night.

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